Recently, I was made aware of some disturbing news that I should have been made aware of a month ago so that I could have helped my child much sooner. I didn’t know about it until recently because the person in charge of it assumed it was normal and thought it didn’t matter. When my kids are concerned, it ALWAYS matters. I spoke with this person via email and we did come up with a plan but not without my having to explain my views regarding how it was handled, how it should have been handled, and how I hope it will be handled in the future to the person in charge of this situation, their boss, and their boss’s boss. Along the way I have learned a few things that I thought you all might find helpful. . .
- Never keep your concerns to yourself or “gossip” about the problem to others. Tell the person involved that you have a problem and what it is.
- Be mature about the problem! Stay calm. Do not yell or swear or threaten. Allow the other person to explain themselves and then ask that they do the same for you.
- Keep a record of all communication. This is why I prefer email! I have my email account set up to save all sent messages. All I have to do is make sure I respond in some way to emails received and then I automatically have a copy.
- At the onset of the problem and it’s communication, keep the person’s supervisor in the loop. Sometimes folks try to minimize things and make them out to be less than you think they should be. Keeping a supervisor in the loop (i.e. send them copies of email communication) makes them aware of the problem as well.
- If a problem really needs to be addressed outside of the conversation between you and the person at fault and the direct supervisor has not offered, feel free to contact the supervisor’s supervisor- again, in a mature manner. Oftentimes, what seems like a small problem to a supervisor might get addressed more quickly if the higher up’s are informed and if the person at fault knows that you have contacted them. I do this by merely attaching the supervisor’s email addresses to the correspondence as well as the person I am dealing with directly.
- If you are belittled in any way or made to feel inferior to the person you have the problem with or made to feel like the situation will be “swept under the rug”, go immediately to the supervisor’s supervisor.
- Don’t back down! You can stand your ground until a problem is resolved to your satisfaction without being rude. Keep re-addressing the problem and try to say the same thing in a different way if possible.
- Discuss the problems with a close friend or confidant who is not connected to the situation to make sure you are handling it in the best way.
- Take time to think things through before responding out of anger or frustration. Responding too quickly can make you look as if you are simply lashing out when in reality you want a solution as badly as they do. This is another good reason for using email- you can think before replying and then even if you do type something up you don’t have to hit send until you are sure you have said things in a correct manner.
- Lastly, be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself or your family! You are your own best advocate! IPOY
God is good- all the time. . . .