My Youngest has difficulties

If you have a child who has behavior problems, perhaps you have a diagnosis of mild autism, Aspergers, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADHD, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, etc or perhaps you have no diagnosis but wish someone could explain the behaviors of your child- if so, you might check out the group that I am part of:  www.ShadowSyndromeKids@yahoogroups.com   I joined this group just “to see” if these moms really had any advice that might be helpful and I have stayed with them.  These moms are smart, intelligent people who know what it’s like to have a child with behavior problems.  Check it out!

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2 Comments

Filed under Kid tips

2 responses to “My Youngest has difficulties

  1. stacey

    hi i have taken my 4yr son to phycholagists and paid hundreds just to be told that he need more attention he is the middle of three and has my attention 24 7 due to the fact if i take my eye off him for five min he ends hurting himself and needing medical attention his tantrums are so violent and out of control that he can lift me and a chair (55kg) clean off the ground during these episodies i have to get his brother and sister to move well away make sure there is nothing he can hurt himself or anyone else with he hits bites kicks throughs things trys to jump out of windows and run out the door it is extreamly upsetting to see its although he has no idear or controll over what he is doing his behaviour in general isnt too bad he will argue if he doesnt get his own way like most children his eating habits are wonderful he goes to slep between 8-830pm and wakes 7-830am other than the horrific tantrums and playing dangerously ocasionally he is a normal healy boy. ?his soft sopt on the top of his head has closed up but there is a lump there when he is acting up ive noticed it raises? please if you know of enything or anyone who could help us in australia let us know thank you desprate family

  2. ruralmomof3

    Hi, Stacey! Thank you so much for contacting me all the way around the world! I have several things I might suggest to you but first I must state that I am not a medical professional and these are only my ideas and not medical advice. There, that’s done!

    First of all, are your other 2 children “normal”? Meaning they don’t have behvior problems? If the answer is yes then perhaps it would be beneficial to get some discipline techniques or parenting ideas from a trusted friend or counselor. Even if your 4 year old is the only one acting out, parenting tips would still be useful. I did this myself and got some good ideas and also received praise from the therapist that I was a good parent. The fact that you are seeking out help from anywhere you can is a definate sign that you are a good parent as well! Asking for help is a sign of strength and a sign that you love your children. Congratulations!

    My first step toward getting my son to behave was taking him to a chiropractor. A good chiropractor will not promise to cure the problem in a short amount of time. They will listen to you and offer to help, typically starting with frequent visits and then gradually spreading the appointments out further and further. Our chiropractor also offers vitamins and herbs as ways to encourage health from the inside out. A child with behavior problems may be lacking certain nutrients or may be allergic to certain things that are causing the outbursts. A naturopathy or nutrition expert may also offer good advice as far as the vitamins and herbs that might help.

    I also went to a therapist myself to get parenting techniques like I had mentioned before. Here in the states, many large Christian churches offer counseling services and that is where I went. A good counselor or psychologist will not only tell you your child needs more attention but will teach you how to give the attention in an appropriate manner that will work for your child’s personality.

    We took him to our medical doctor who gave us similar advice to your psychologist appointments. Our doctor did refer us to another therapist who we will be seeing next week.

    My therapist let me borrow a book called, “Change your brain Change your life” by Daniel G. Amen, MD. This book is available through http://www.amazon.com but Dr. Amen also has a web site: http://www.amenclinic.com I have not spent much time on his website but have read the majority of his book. His ideas on mental illness and behavior problems that don’t correct through normal psycho-therapy techniques are that there is actually something wrong with the brains ability to function. To prove that this may be the problem he does SPECT scans on patients that he believes may benefit. A SPECT (single photon emission computed tomography) scan measures blood flow and metabolic activity patterns in the brain. If there are portions of the brain that do not have enough blood flow, that portion of the brain cannot function properly. His book only lists medical offices in the states but any medical facility that uses SPECT scanning techniques might be of help there. I would do my research and learn all I can and try other techniques first before going to the expense of this.

    Another thing that is new in the states are something called “glyconutrients”. I don’t know much about them but there are many testimonials out there of how they have helped many. Your health food store should be able to direct you about them.

    Other simple things that might be helpful: Keep a journal of his behaviors, your reaction to them, and what may be triggering his outbursts. You might start to notice certain things that come to your attention as things that make things worse and things that make things better.

    You might also try eliminating certain foods from his diet. Eliminate all processed sugar for 1-2 weeks and see if you notice any changes in his behavior. If no change, eliminate all dairy products for the next 1-2 weeks. Certain dyes (particulary red) and preservatives can also trigger behavior problems.

    Another thing to consider are the cleaning products used in the home- many cleaning agents can be carcinogenic when absorbed in large quantities- these agents can cause behavior problems in some when just used in the normal way or as directed on the bottle. Things like bleach, some soaps, soap scum removers, window cleaners, etc. http://www.care2.com is a website that has recipes for eco-friendly cleaning products that can be made at home- most products that are eco-friendly are natural. Natural products will have less effect on someone sensitive to cleaning products. The Shaklee corporation is another great place to learn about safe cleaning products and vitamins and herbs. http://www.shaklee.com

    Paying close attention to your son is important but this does not mean that you become his slave. My 5 y.o. knows how to push my buttons and when I think I might explode, I call my husband in for back up. If you do not have the privelage of this back up plan, call a friend or relative who can be your back up plan. You must be sure that they discipline your son in exactly the same way you do. The same discipline routine must be done each and every time and immediately upon acting out. I have sent my son to his room 8-10 times before he actually will stay there. You are in charge. You are the grown up. You must not give up. You must love him enough to show him that you are not going to quit. The moment that he starts to act out, tell him to “take 5” (time out of 5 min) and send him to his room. Explain to him what he did wrong and that he must spend the 5 min. in his room. Set a timer and walk away. When he comes back out, say nothing, just walk him back to his room and re-start the timer back at 5. Repeat as often as needed. When you think you can’t do it anymore- call your back up person, have them take over while you go outside and scream or go for a jog for a few minutes. When you can return, do so. You must return eventually! (smile!) When the 5 min. is successful, don’t say things to him like, “are you going to behave now?” or “you can come out if you’re good”. Just drop the subject all together. He will know he can come out when the timer goes off. When he does, get him involved with some positive activity that allows him some special positive attention with mom (example: help set the table for dinner, get laundry out of the dryer with mom).

    You can do this! I am proud of you! It is a sign of strength to ask for help!!

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