I woke up this morning in a fog, coffee didn’t help much. I hurried the kids around reminding my behavior problem child that his teacher’s goal for him is to “get on the bus”. We hurried and hurried and I lost my patience a time or two. We opened the door to send the boys to the bus and my oldest says, “Geez, it’s foggy!” I never even turned on the radio this morning in my own fog nor did I ever look outside!!!! Sure enough- everyone is ready and we have a 2 hour delay! The boys are now jumping up and down- “2 whole hours of T.V.!!!!” If I was really with it this morning, I’d give them something to do but I’m not so they probably will watch t.v. the whole time. Call me bad, but I don’t think so.
My oldest 2 have been really helping out lately, since their little brother decided that kinderg. would be the year to let it all hang out. Tantrums, attitude, disrespect, you name it. I have had to spend a lot of time with the little guy, getting things more routine in nature and focusing on rewarding positive behavior instead of encouraging him to have a tantrum by having one myself as I, out of desperation, found myself yelling and screaming at him more than a few times. We have had him to see the chiropractor (some may find this wacky, but it is working) and I have been seeing a counselor to learn better ways to parent a child who has possible Asperger’s syndrome and/or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
The chiropractor? You might ask. Yes, the chiropractor. Chiropractor’s look at what is causing the problem and not at just alleviating the symptoms of a problem. Our chiropractor has been giving him adjustments and has prescribed a variety of supplements (vitamins and herbs). These supplements helped, noticeably, the first dose! They are not a magic pill by any means and the noticeable difference in our son was not a 0 to 100 type of thing. After one dose he was noticeably calmer and after a few doses I did not give him any one night to see what happened. He had one of the biggest tantrums of his career the following morning! After he was able to calm down, he was able to carry on a coherent conversation about his behavior and recognized that the behavior was not something he wanted to do. This was a first.
We have since implemented (in addition to the supplelments) the “1 2 3 Magic” discipline technique and all 3 of our children receive rewards of “shiny stones” when they are caught being good. The stones can be exchanged for 5 cents but so far all of the boys have just kept the stones! A bag of stones at our local Meijer cost $1.oo. Our son also has a book that I made (drawing stick figures and words) that has his entire bedtime routine. One step on each page. On days when he is having a really hard time controlling himself, he gets a stone for each page completed in a timely, calm, manner. He also has a behavior chart that he gets stars for each thing completed (medicine, brush teeth, no tantrums, etc). When the chart gets 30 stars we do something fun as a family. The first time he reached his goal we went and picked out pumpkins for Halloween!
Prior to this, everything I tried for our son only worked for 2 days. In desperation, I emailed a friend who also has a child with difficulties and she suggested that whatever the current parenting technique was that I stick with it for a full 30 days. Our counselor agreed and that is what we are doing. Why 30 days? It takes a normal person 21 days to form a new habit. 30 days gives room for when I am not consistent and gives a “not normal” child extra room to learn the habit as well.
Hope someone finds this helpful! The good Lord has given me a plethora of friends, all with slightly different backgrounds or out looks. Each of them is full of wisdom and I am so thankful for all of them.