Remember: Privacy = Pride

With all the unemployment going on in and around America, I wanted to remind everyone to help those in need keep their pride. 

If you help with a charity at your church or community group, remember to keep things private.  Many of the people you might help are people who, in other circumstances, would be on the giving end and not the receiving end of your donations.   Some families are ashamed that they even have to ask for help but literally have no other option in order to survive. 

Some tips that might help your group meet people where they are instead of where they were or could be:

1. Your volunteers/ staff should be made aware that the utmost privacy must be upheld.  Remind them that this could be them and to think about how they would feel if they were reduced to begging for handouts. 
2. Many people who need help will not ask for help.  Pay attention to those around you, make notice if they lose their job or have other hardships.  Offer to help, don’t wait for them to come to you.
3. Appointments to receive help, at best, would be held one on one with some time in between each time slot for one family to leave before the other one’s come.  If this is not possible,  remind folks who come that their privacy is important and ask them to keep the same privacy for others who are in line too.  They are all there for the same reason.
4. Do not judge those who come to your agency for help.  If they meet the criteria you have set up (and yes, you need to have criteria or certain ways to qualify), graciously provide what you can and smile.
5. Be ready and able to point out other agencies that might be able to help them with needs you cannot meet.  Have brochures or contact lists available at all times.
6. If at all possible, have someone there to help with small children.  Have an attended play room or something for the kids so mom and dad can concentrate on paperwork.  If you don’t have the ability to have a play room and an attendant, keep a few toys and books out and available.  Also, offer to hold the baby so they can fill out forms or have a special surprise in your desk for the toddler who doesn’t want to be there.
7. If you live in an area that is multi-cultural, do your best to have someone from each culture in your staff.  Not only will language no longer be an issue, but the family in need will feel more comfortable knowing/seeing someone like them there.  Have multi-lingual forms available too!
8. Offer a bulletin board where those in need of work can post their skills and employers can post job openings- or something similar.
9. Sometimes, you might have a very reluctant family.  They really need help but don’t want a handout.  Find out what their skills are and see if you can barter with them (hire them).  They can volunteer at your agency in exchange for your donations.
10. To me the most important thing is to pray for these families.  If you are part of a Christian agency, I encourage you to make this part of your work day.  If this is not the case, pray for the families as you drive home or when you sit down at the dinner table.  Pray that God will provide for them.

God is. . . .

We’re stressed about money, they’re stressed about money, everybody’s stressed about money. Friday night I watched 20/20 “living on the edge”. It was story after story of how the economic crisis has changed lives for the worse. One family lived in a multi-100’s of thousands dollar home and had an emergency plan of “the economy was our emergency plan. If we needed more $$, I picked up extra work”. They are now on food stamps after 2 short years. Another family- dad laid off, mom is teachers aid- moved into an apt. to save money but mom’s wages are not enough. Their freezer is empty, their fridge has jelly and ketchup in it and their oldest son (HS) is glad to go to school so he can eat.

Be thankful. . . . however we decide to judge these families or have pity on them. The end result is still the same. They are having a really difficult time. We are not starving, we have our basics taken care of, our husbands all are doing what they believe with all their hearts is the right thing. may God bless them (and us) for it. . . . .

Go for a walk today. Look at the beauty. Look at what God is. . . . he is little purple flowers that pop up in the woods as a symbol of spring. He is little water bugs skating in the ditch. He is kids whacking sticks against dead tree trunks to see what happens and to hear the echo in the woods. He is . . . . . . . .

In a Flash they’ll be grown

This morning, I got to hold my 6 1/2 y.o’s hand as we walked downstairs for breakfast together. Last night, I got to talk to my 8 y.o. about whether or not he was ready for sleep-over camp this summer.  Late last night, I got to hug my 10 y.0. after a hard day at wrestling practice.

My “devils during the day” and “angels while they’re sleeping” have moments of pure joy.  The time I have left to teach them all they need to know before they go off into the big big world is nearly over -more than half over for my 10 y.o. and almost half over for the others.

All the older women in my life told me this time would be gone in a flash and I didn’t used to believe them.  I used to feel like it was all a dream and in reality I was just these kid’s babysitter and their parents would be home to be pick them up at any minute. 

I believe them today.  I believed them yesterday when I watched my son get hurt on the wrestling mat and I watched him quickly turn those hot tears into anger and self-esteem so no one would see him cry.  I believed them last weekend when my painfully shy 6 y.o. showed his mom where he had to go for that last heat of his Pinewood Derby Race and I watched him overcome the overwhelming desire to run back to me and instead stand with the others and wait his turn for the race.  I believed them a week ago when I received notice that my 8 y.o. with test anxiety was successful in completing the state mandated test without the help of the school counselor. 

Life is good.  Time is flying.  My life is one prayer after another. . . . .

Take a look at your devil angels tonight when they’re sleeping.  Look long and hard and put that image in your body’s hard drive and have it encrypted so no one can remove it from your brain.   Remind your kids that there is NOTHING they can do to make you stop loving them.

Want your husband to treat you like a queen?

Preface: I highly encourage anyone who reads this article to also read the comments others have sent in. Many of the readers who commented have wonderful ways of saying what I have wrote in a different ways.   They may speak to your heart better than me!

Treat him like a king!!!  Going out of your way to make someone feel good about themselves and helping them in any way you can only encourages them to do the same for you.  Stop whining about how much crap you get from your husband and think about how much crap you give to him.  We preach at our kids to give respect in order to get respect but we don’t even do that to our spouse?  What kind of example are we setting?  The more you focus on how awful of a man he is, the more awful he will become!!!  I challenge you to write down, on paper, a prayer to God asking him to turn your husband into the kind of man you want him to be.  But do not be surprised if your buttons then get pushed.  Sometimes, God answers our prayers for other people by changing us!  You want to feel loved?  Hand out love.   You want to feel appreciated?  Hand out some appreciation.  You want to feel respected?  Give some respect away!  DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO TO YOU

Book suggestion: Created to be his helpmeet by Debi Pearl